Ironman Barcelona | October 2019

Ironman Barcelona 2019

***disclaimer - this race report may be NSFW - prob some foul language. You have been warned***

Ironman Barcelona 2019. What a damn shit show. 

But, did you die? 

Before the race I had so much pre-race anxiety about swimming in the cool blue waters of the Mediterranean Sea. I was terrified.. and, I am an excellent swimmer. Not fast, but very very strong in the water. This would be my 4th full distance Ironman and one of about 30 different Ironman events I have completed. For whatever reason I was in my own head and for the first time in years, afraid I was not coming home from Spain.

Did I die? No, I didn't.. I am here writing this damn race report whilst crushing a cup of joe in NYC. That's just how I roll (I write race reports while enjoying coffee and planning my day ahead).  

But, I did leave Calella heartbroken and in a slight emotional mess. When I got back, I vowed to change everything about how I approach life, work, dating, Ironman. All of it. This shit show of a failure had a huge impact on me. 

The Race Report:

I flew all the way to Barcelona to have the worst race of my life. The people of Spain are just not nice people when it comes to Ironman competitions. They are outrageously competitive and arrogant. Also, oddly, they are 100% by all of the rules in the book except when it comes to things like the feeling of safety. I legit felt like I was alone out in the middle of the Mediterranean Sea, a half mile from shore.

Okay so let's get back to why this race sucked.

I have to take some responsibility. I was not nearly as trained as I would have liked to be. But, then again.. when am I ever?  I don't know if all athletes feel this way when they get to a race.. but I always feel like I could be a few pounds lighter. Could have run a little more.. more laps in the pool. A few more spin classes.. more Zwift time. More weights, more everything.. Yes, I am always my own toughest critic, but I do also always show up on race day and wish I was in better shape. But.. with that said.. I could have finished this race in under the allotted time. Rarely in life, especially as an adult, have I not finished something I started. It burns. 

I broke my bike. FML! Literally the day before I was flying to Spain I decided to hop on the bike and do one more training ride. I crushed it. And, in the process broke one of the aero bar clamps (that attach the aero bar to my main bars). FML x2. I called every bike shop in all of NYC and the surrounding areas.. then all in Barcelona. Checked the mechanics at the Ironman expo. Literally nothing. FML x3. 

So, I did what any serious Ironman would do. I rigged my bike, went out and did my best. 

Swim. Bike. Run. 

I swam.. and I swam pretty well. Finished the 2.4 mile open salt water salt swim in 1:50 - a full 30 min under the cutoff. It was a tough swim too.. Waves crashing over my head. Idiot athletes bouncing off me. I had to push one person so hard that he probably felt like I punched him in the face. My bet is he is somewhere out in the world writing a blog on his race report saying some gigantic American asshole punched him in the water. Well bro, that was me and you prob shouldn’t have run into me 4x and irritated me to a point that I felt there was no other way to get you away from me. I don't want to drown bruh. 

Out of the water. No probs.. At most races there are strippers right when you leave the water and enter transition (T1) to help you out of your wetsuit. I know you were hoping there was like a strip club and dancers waiting for us to make us swim faster.. LOL don't we all wish, and you, the reader.. get your head out of the gutter. This isn’t that kind of party. My help getting out of my wetsuit was reduced to some dude undoing the top of my zipper (wetsuit zipper, the one that zip to the top of my back and velcros shut).. he may or may not have pulled it down 3 inches. LITERALLY NO HELP BRO, WHY BOTHER.

I went into the change tent - got my bag of shit (aka, cycling gear for the 200k bike ride). Sat down and somehow got out of my wetsuit. In the meantime I cramped. Def vomited (all salt water - not supposed to drink that shit eh?). Then ate a bunch of food, er gel crap, and drank fresh water. Got my gear on, lubed up with anti-chafe, and ran out to my bike. All that in under 10 min. Yay me. 

The ride was okay even though I BROKE MY BIKE and the aero bars were being held on with a rats nest of zip ties. I rode hard. Had to stop to get air in a tire.. Had to stop to pee twice. Stopped to fill water bottles.. Stopped to eat a banana and take it all in.. Was SO SURE I was ahead of schedule that I took my time… But that naiveté and lack of time management is what ultimately led to my broken hearted race finish. WTF Zach.. You know better. 

I knocked out the first 56 miles and went to make the turn to head out and do the second lap and I was abruptly stopped by some asshole that told me I couldn’t go on. I had missed the turn cutoff by 7 minutes. Seven fucking minutes. Seven minutes of my eating a banana, taking 9 pees.. filling up water bottles. What in the actual fuck Zach. Really, what in the actual fuck. 

I yelled profanities at that man. I told him he had an ugly wife. I said some broken version of Spanish mixed with Catalan of go fuck yourself and I will see you in the parking lot. To be honest, there wasn’t even a parking lot. There was barely enough parking for all of the athletes let alone a place to congregate where I smack around some Spaniard because I can't tell time. It's not his fault I suck at time management. Its mine.. all mine.. but I got a word or 100 in. In hindsight, I really have to empathize for the guy that missed the turn by 10 seconds. Made my 7 minutes seem like an eternity. Note to self - in Spain they are really shitty to the athletes that aren’t fast. They did some similar shit to me when I did the half ironman there.. They told me I missed the bike to run transition (T2) cutoff.. That was funny - because I told them to go fuck themselves too and went out, kicked down a barrier.. and then ran my half marathon.. On the website I got a DNF but I got that damn medal for the half. Don't you dare tell me I cant run.. I hate running too :) Good thing I did that though - met one of my great European Pals, Bob out there on that run. We still stay in touch via social media and WhatsApp. Life is funny like that sometimes. 

Moving on.. 

Getting pulled from this race broke my heart. It really did. Caused me to go back to an empty hotel room all by myself and listen to the damn announcer (because I was super close to the finish line) congratulate everyone that crossed the finish line - BLAH BLAH SPANISH NAME YOU ARE AN IRONMAN. Fuck my life. 

I took a long shower and got it together.. then decided that I was going to be the better man and go out to watch the runners and wait to cheer on the one person that I knew there.. I really didn't even know this dude at all - I met him while in the recovery tent the day before, trying on Normatec Recovery boots and listening to his British mother say hilarious things to him.. All comedy - it was a great day lol. Saw the same dude right before we got into the water to swim and had a few laughs.. I found him and tracked him on the Ironman app - made my way down to watch the runners and cheered for him to get across that finish line. 

***note - supporting another person's dream is part of the Ironman / triathlete culture. Sometimes we are there for more than just ourselves and you never know what can be done for a person's spirit when you say something so simple like - C’Mon Dougie!! You got this!! You're so close!! You're an Ironman.  Dudes name is Doug, but his Mum called him Dougie. In that moment I liked it :) Doug is now an Ironman. 

I went back to the hotel and packed up my shit. Including taking apart and packing my bike back into its case. Got ready for the next part of my adventure. Was totally solo and still heartbroken  but flights home on such short notice were more expensive than staying for the week. Okay then.. 

Off to Portugal I go. Heartbroken and not even a damn Barcelona Ironman t-shirt to show for my efforts. 

Since this is a race report I won't tell you about how amazing Porto is. How neat a place Barcelona is and how much more amazing the surrounding beach cities are. 

Castelldefels. Calella. Badalona. Camp Nou. Rufus du Sol. 

The people there are so sweet and nice.. The vibe is laid back. Barcelona is a must see city and I will be back to crush this race next year. 

The race lit a fire inside of me that burns deep into my soul. I won't let this race break me. But, I will let it change me. Self awareness and evolution from a life experience can be liberating. For me, it forced me to focus on things that today's technology and society seem to want to ruin:

• I learned to be present - Like, in a work meeting, don't be on your phone or laptop. Pay attention. Be present. If I am out on a date - put the damn phone down. I got rid of my Apple Watch because the notifications were making it impossible to be in the now. Being present feels so damn good. Try it sometime and feel free to email me with your findings, if you feel like it hi@zacharylindeman.com. 

• I learned to commit - After my last shitty relationship committing to anything outside of my selfish wants and needs were few and far between. I chose to recommit to life in NYC. I chose to recommit to finding a life partner. I chose to recommit to my personal and professional growth. This also feels so damn good. 

• I relearned to set goals and work towards them - I already knew this but an overflowing plate does nothing for no one. Prioritize and set realistic timelines. MANAGE THAT DAMN CLOCK ZACH. 

• I chose to pump the brakes on Solo travel - all I needed after that heartbreaking race was a hug. From a friend, brother, sister, girlfriend.. anyone. Going back to that empty hotel room with such a heavy and broken heart sucked to a point that it still resonates deep in my soul four months later. I travel a lot and plan to stop taking so many trips Solo. Sharing life experiences with someone you love is a gift I would like to share with someone. 

• I relearned family is everything - I have the best family in the world and they are always there for me. This race made me reevaluate the time that I have spent with them in the last year or so.. and it's not enough. I vow to spend more time with them that Dave Matthews in 2020 :) 

There are many many more learnings from this experience that I am sure I will write about later. 

I will see you in October, Ironman Barcelona. Be ready. I'm coming in hot. 

Until then..